Tag: reading

I’m not necessarily going to be reading these in this order, but here’s my picks for each:

  1. Read in school: Le Petit Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
  2. From Childhood: Bridge to Terabithia, by Katherine Paterson
  3. Published over 100 Years Ago: Asser’s Life of King Alfred
  4. Published in the Last Year: The Words in My Hand, by Guinevere Glasfurd
  5. Non-Fiction: The Hunger Games Keeping America Sane: Psychiatry and Eugenics in the United States and Canada 1880-1940, by Ian Dowbiggin
  6. Male Author: World War Z, by Max Brooks
  7. Female Author: The Paris Wife, by Paula McLain
  8. Someone Who Isn’t a Writer: Zoo Quest to Guiana, by David Attenborough
  9. Became a Film: The Help, by Kathryn Stockett
  10. Published in 20th Century: Flowers in the Attic, by V.C. Andrews
  11. Set in your Hometown/Region: Rocket Boys, by Homer Hickam, Jr
  12. Someone’s Name in the Title: Darkly Dreaming Dexter, by Jeff Lindsay
  13. Number in the Title: Life of Pi, by Yann Martel
  14. Character with My First Name: Breakfast at Tiffany’s, by Truman Capote
  15. Someone Recommended: Eragon, by Christopher Paolini
  16. Over 500 Pages: House of Leaves, by Mark Z. Danielewski
  17. Can Finish in a Day: Fallen Embers, by C.S. Marks
  18. Previously Banned Book: The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood
  19. Book with One-Word Title: Hiroshima, by John Hersey
  20. Book translated from another language: Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson
  21. Will Improve a Specific Area of My Life: OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS MANY THANK
  22. Memoir or Journal: Some Girls: My Life in a Harem, by Jillian Lauren
  23. Written by someone younger than me: AGAIN OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS MUST BE UNDER 28 YEARS OLD
  24. Set Somewhere I’ll be Visiting this Year: Feast of the Drowned, by Stephen Cole 
  25. Award-Winning Book: The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins
  26. Self-Published Book: Exiled Heir, by Jonathan French

Hey dudes I started writing some YA drivel. It’s gonna be like a light-hearted Green Angel meets Hatchet(I hope). BTW y’all should read Green Angel that book gives me life.

Also I made the cover myself and I’m hella proud of it.

Here’s Green Angel: X

Here’s The Survible(mine): X

Fimsy’s 2016 Reading List

…I could have sworn I did one of these already…

The bolded ones are titles I’ve already read before at some point. I want to reread them because it’s been awhile and I have a (probably) better perspective from which to approach them.

  1. Aftermath: Martin Bormann and the Fourth Reich, by Ladislas Farago
  2. Alfred the Great: Asser’s Life of King Alfred and Other Contemporary Sources, by Anonymous
  3. Angel On The Square, by Gloria Whelan
  4. Around the World in Eighty Days, by Jules Verne
  5. Beowulf, by Anonymous
  6. Better for All The World, by Harry Bruinius
  7. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley
  8. Child 44, by Tom Rob Smith
  9. City of Dark Magic, by Magnus Flyte
  10. Dead World Omnibus
  11. Don’t Stop me Now, by Jeremy Clarkson
  12. Ender’s Game, by Orson Scott Card
  13. Eragon, by Christopher Paolini
  14. Flowers In The Attic, by V.C. Andrews
  15. Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson
  16. Hamlet, by Shakespeare
  17. Harry Potter Series, by J.K. Rowling
  18. Here On Earth, by Alice Hoffman
  19. Hiroshima, by John Hersey
  20. House of Leaves, by Mark Z Danielewski
  21. I’m A Stranger Here Myself, by Bill Bryson
  22. Journey to the Centre of the Earth, by Jules Verne
  23. Julius Caesar, by Shakespeare
  24. Life of Pi, by Yann Martel
  25. Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov
  26. Me Talk Pretty One Day, by David Sedaris
  27. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, by John Berendt
  28. Modern Germany, by V. R. Berghahn
  29. Official Secrets, by Richard Breitman
  30. Only Revolutions, by Mark Z Danielewski
  31. Othello, by Shakespeare
  32. Reckless Hands, by Victoria Nourse
  33. Rocket Boys, by Homer H. Hickam, Jr.
  34. Roman Civilization, by J.P.V.D. Balsdon  
  35. Sex Race and Science, by Edward Larson
  36. Shutter Island, by Dennis Lehane
  37. Sleeping Murder, by Agatha Christie
  38. Some Girls: My Life In A Harem, by Jillian Lauren
  39. The American Warrior, by Chris Morris and Janet Morris
  40. The Awakening, by Kate Chopin
  41. The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath
  42. The Best Short Stories of Dostoyevsky
  43. The Casual Vacancy, by JK Rowling
  44. The Confessions of Saint Augustine, translated by Rex Warner
  45. The Green Mile, by Stephen King
  46. The Gunslinger, by Stephen King
  47. The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood
  48. The Help, by Kathryn Stockett
  49. The Historian, by Elizabeth Kostova
  50. The History of the Franks, by Gregory of Tours
  51. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien
  52. The Hound of The Baskervilles, by A. Conan Doyle
  53. The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins
  54. The Iliad, by Homer
  55. The Kindly Ones, by Jonathan Littell
  56. The Monster of Florence, by Douglas Preston
  57. The Nazi Hunters, by Neal Bascomb
  58. The Oster Conspiracy of 1938, by Terry Parssinen
  59. The Outsiders, by S. E. Hinton
  60. The Paris Wife, by Paula McLain
  61. The Phantom of the Opera, by Gaston Leroux
  62. The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde
  63. The Rook, by Daniel O’Malley
  64. The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne
  65. Things Fall Apart, by Chinua Achebe
  66. Torchwood: The Men Who Sold The World, by Guy Adams
  67. Void, by Rhiannon Lassiter
  68. Water For Elephants, by Sara Gruen
  69. Wicked, by Gregory Maguire
  70. World War Z, by Max Brooks
  71. Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert
  72. Darkly Dreaming Dexter, by Jeff Lindsay
  73. Dexter in the Dark, by Jeff Lindsay
  74. The Exiled Heir, by Jonathan French

fimbulvetr-now:

You know what’s better than dates for Valentine’s Day? Books! They’ll break your heart just like a relationship, but you don’t have to deal with custody fights over mutual friends afterwards!

Alright so here’s the deal: I need to seriously downsize the amount of stuff I have. However, I have a lot of books. A lot a lot of books. Not to fear, though! Husband got me a Kindle for Crimbo. So I’ve been working to replace a lot of my physical books with electronic copies.

What does this have to do with you? Well, it means I currently have a lot of books that need to go! So I’m having a book giveaway because this is better than giving them back to the thrift shops. Wanted to try a book out but can’t afford it? Now’s your chance! Want to try something entirely different? What an opportunity! Don’t have enough books? Of course you fucking don’t! Have enough books? Don’t fucking lie!

I will ship this shit pretty much anywhere. If you have any questions about whether or not I’ll ship to whatever rock you live under, just feel free to ask!

Rules:

  1. You gotta be following me. I ain’t quite that charitable that I’ll give away shit to strangers, y’see.
  2. Likes do not count. Only reblogs count.
  3. Multiple reblogs are allowed; I will literally never turn down extra exposure to more people I can irritate.
  4. Deadline is 11:59pm EST on 13 February, 2016. Reblogs after that receive only my appreciation, not my consideration.
  5. Three (3) randomly selected winners will be announced by no later than 5:00pm EST 15 February 2016. You’ll be tagged in the announcement post, so make sure to check on that shit.
  6. I am only giving away books. Don’t ask for any of the props in the pictures cause that’s all they are.
  7. Don’t like how I categorised the books? Great! Send me an ask and tell me how far I had my head up my ass! They will be answered publicly.

Prizes:

  • First Prize — Four (4) books of your choice. You get first pick.
  • Second Prize — Three (3) books of your choice. You get to choose after the first winner.
  • Third Prize — Two (2) books of your choice. You choose from what’s left over.

The Books:

That Really Happened! (Nonfiction)

  1. In The Beginning…Was The Command Line, by Neal Stephenson
  2. Knuckle Sandwich, by Jason Peacock
  3. The Confessions of St Augustine
  4. Don’t Stop Me Now, by Jeremy Clarkson
  5. I’m A Stranger Here Myself, by Bill Bryson
  6. A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson

For the Kid in All of Us (YA/Children’s)

  1. Fighting Fantasy: Bloodlines, by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone
  2. Holes, by Louis Sachar
  3. Mr. Funderburk Meets 5A, by Terry Markoff
  4. project e.d.e.n., by B. Mauritz
  5. Be An Interplanatary Spy: Red Rocket, by Seth McEvoy

Shit You Were Supposed to Have Read By Now:

  1. Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert [NOTE: This book is in French]
  2. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
  3. The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe, by Douglas Adams
  4. Life, the universe and everything, by Douglas Adams
  5. So long, and thanks for all the fish, by Douglas Adams
  6. Julius Caesar, by Shakespeare
  7. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien
  8. As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner
  9. The Old Man And The Sea, by Ernest Hemingway

All Others

  1. The Kindly Ones, by Jonathan Littel
  2. The Old Dog Barks Backwards, by Ogden Nash
  3. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, by David Sedaris
  4. Naked Pictures of Famous People, by Jon Stewart
  5. Child 44, by Tom Rob Smith
  6. The Secret Speech, by Tom Rob Smith
  7. Jack & Jill, by James Patterson

Only 10.5 hours left! 

fimbulvetr-now:

You know what’s better than dates for Valentine’s Day? Books! They’ll break your heart just like a relationship, but you don’t have to deal with custody fights over mutual friends afterwards!

Alright so here’s the deal: I need to seriously downsize the amount of stuff I have. However, I have a lot of books. A lot a lot of books. Not to fear, though! Husband got me a Kindle for Crimbo. So I’ve been working to replace a lot of my physical books with electronic copies.

What does this have to do with you? Well, it means I currently have a lot of books that need to go! So I’m having a book giveaway because this is better than giving them back to the thrift shops. Wanted to try a book out but can’t afford it? Now’s your chance! Want to try something entirely different? What an opportunity! Don’t have enough books? Of course you fucking don’t! Have enough books? Don’t fucking lie!

I will ship this shit pretty much anywhere. If you have any questions about whether or not I’ll ship to whatever rock you live under, just feel free to ask!

Rules:

  1. You gotta be following me. I ain’t quite that charitable that I’ll give away shit to strangers, y’see.
  2. Likes do not count. Only reblogs count.
  3. Multiple reblogs are allowed; I will literally never turn down extra exposure to more people I can irritate.
  4. Deadline is 11:59pm EST on 13 February, 2016. Reblogs after that receive only my appreciation, not my consideration.
  5. Three (3) randomly selected winners will be announced by no later than 5:00pm EST 15 February 2016. You’ll be tagged in the announcement post, so make sure to check on that shit.
  6. I am only giving away books. Don’t ask for any of the props in the pictures cause that’s all they are.
  7. Don’t like how I categorised the books? Great! Send me an ask and tell me how far I had my head up my ass! They will be answered publicly.

Prizes:

  • First Prize — Four (4) books of your choice. You get first pick.
  • Second Prize — Three (3) books of your choice. You get to choose after the first winner.
  • Third Prize — Two (2) books of your choice. You choose from what’s left over.

The Books:

That Really Happened! (Nonfiction)

  1. In The Beginning…Was The Command Line, by Neal Stephenson
  2. Knuckle Sandwich, by Jason Peacock
  3. The Confessions of St Augustine
  4. Don’t Stop Me Now, by Jeremy Clarkson
  5. I’m A Stranger Here Myself, by Bill Bryson
  6. A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson

For the Kid in All of Us (YA/Children’s)

  1. Fighting Fantasy: Bloodlines, by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone
  2. Holes, by Louis Sachar
  3. Mr. Funderburk Meets 5A, by Terry Markoff
  4. project e.d.e.n., by B. Mauritz
  5. Be An Interplanatary Spy: Red Rocket, by Seth McEvoy

Shit You Were Supposed to Have Read By Now:

  1. Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert [NOTE: This book is in French]
  2. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
  3. The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe, by Douglas Adams
  4. Life, the universe and everything, by Douglas Adams
  5. So long, and thanks for all the fish, by Douglas Adams
  6. Julius Caesar, by Shakespeare
  7. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien
  8. As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner
  9. The Old Man And The Sea, by Ernest Hemingway

All Others

  1. The Kindly Ones, by Jonathan Littel
  2. The Old Dog Barks Backwards, by Ogden Nash
  3. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, by David Sedaris
  4. Naked Pictures of Famous People, by Jon Stewart
  5. Child 44, by Tom Rob Smith
  6. The Secret Speech, by Tom Rob Smith
  7. Jack & Jill, by James Patterson

fimbulvetr-now:

You know what’s better than dates for Valentine’s Day? Books! They’ll break your heart just like a relationship, but you don’t have to deal with custody fights over mutual friends afterwards!

Alright so here’s the deal: I need to seriously downsize the amount of stuff I have. However, I have a lot of books. A lot a lot of books. Not to fear, though! Husband got me a Kindle for Crimbo. So I’ve been working to replace a lot of my physical books with electronic copies.

What does this have to do with you? Well, it means I currently have a lot of books that need to go! So I’m having a book giveaway because this is better than giving them back to the thrift shops. Wanted to try a book out but can’t afford it? Now’s your chance! Want to try something entirely different? What an opportunity! Don’t have enough books? Of course you fucking don’t! Have enough books? Don’t fucking lie!

I will ship this shit pretty much anywhere. If you have any questions about whether or not I’ll ship to whatever rock you live under, just feel free to ask!

Rules:

  1. You gotta be following me. I ain’t quite that charitable that I’ll give away shit to strangers, y’see.
  2. Likes do not count. Only reblogs count.
  3. Multiple reblogs are allowed; I will literally never turn down extra exposure to more people I can irritate.
  4. Deadline is 11:59pm EST on 13 February, 2016. Reblogs after that receive only my appreciation, not my consideration.
  5. Three (3) randomly selected winners will be announced by no later than 5:00pm EST 15 February 2016. You’ll be tagged in the announcement post, so make sure to check on that shit.
  6. I am only giving away books. Don’t ask for any of the props in the pictures cause that’s all they are.
  7. Don’t like how I categorised the books? Great! Send me an ask and tell me how far I had my head up my ass! They will be answered publicly.

Prizes:

  • First Prize — Four (4) books of your choice. You get first pick.
  • Second Prize — Three (3) books of your choice. You get to choose after the first winner.
  • Third Prize — Two (2) books of your choice. You choose from what’s left over.

The Books:

That Really Happened! (Nonfiction)

  1. In The Beginning…Was The Command Line, by Neal Stephenson
  2. Knuckle Sandwich, by Jason Peacock
  3. The Confessions of St Augustine
  4. Don’t Stop Me Now, by Jeremy Clarkson
  5. I’m A Stranger Here Myself, by Bill Bryson
  6. A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson

For the Kid in All of Us (YA/Children’s)

  1. Fighting Fantasy: Bloodlines, by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone
  2. Holes, by Louis Sachar
  3. Mr. Funderburk Meets 5A, by Terry Markoff
  4. project e.d.e.n., by B. Mauritz
  5. Be An Interplanatary Spy: Red Rocket, by Seth McEvoy

Shit You Were Supposed to Have Read By Now:

  1. Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert [NOTE: This book is in French]
  2. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
  3. The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe, by Douglas Adams
  4. Life, the universe and everything, by Douglas Adams
  5. So long, and thanks for all the fish, by Douglas Adams
  6. Julius Caesar, by Shakespeare
  7. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien
  8. As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner
  9. The Old Man And The Sea, by Ernest Hemingway

All Others

  1. The Kindly Ones, by Jonathan Littel
  2. The Old Dog Barks Backwards, by Ogden Nash
  3. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, by David Sedaris
  4. Naked Pictures of Famous People, by Jon Stewart
  5. Child 44, by Tom Rob Smith
  6. The Secret Speech, by Tom Rob Smith
  7. Jack & Jill, by James Patterson

fimbulvetr-now:

You know what’s better than dates for Valentine’s Day? Books! They’ll break your heart just like a relationship, but you don’t have to deal with custody fights over mutual friends afterwards!

Alright so here’s the deal: I need to seriously downsize the amount of stuff I have. However, I have a lot of books. A lot a lot of books. Not to fear, though! Husband got me a Kindle for Crimbo. So I’ve been working to replace a lot of my physical books with electronic copies.

What does this have to do with you? Well, it means I currently have a lot of books that need to go! So I’m having a book giveaway because this is better than giving them back to the thrift shops. Wanted to try a book out but can’t afford it? Now’s your chance! Want to try something entirely different? What an opportunity! Don’t have enough books? Of course you fucking don’t! Have enough books? Don’t fucking lie!

I will ship this shit pretty much anywhere. If you have any questions about whether or not I’ll ship to whatever rock you live under, just feel free to ask!

Rules:

  1. You gotta be following me. I ain’t quite that charitable that I’ll give away shit to strangers, y’see.
  2. Likes do not count. Only reblogs count.
  3. Multiple reblogs are allowed; I will literally never turn down extra exposure to more people I can irritate.
  4. Deadline is 11:59pm EST on 13 February, 2016. Reblogs after that receive only my appreciation, not my consideration.
  5. Three (3) randomly selected winners will be announced by no later than 5:00pm EST 15 February 2016. You’ll be tagged in the announcement post, so make sure to check on that shit.
  6. I am only giving away books. Don’t ask for any of the props in the pictures cause that’s all they are.
  7. Don’t like how I categorised the books? Great! Send me an ask and tell me how far I had my head up my ass! They will be answered publicly.

Prizes:

  • First Prize — Four (4) books of your choice. You get first pick.
  • Second Prize — Three (3) books of your choice. You get to choose after the first winner.
  • Third Prize — Two (2) books of your choice. You choose from what’s left over.

The Books:

That Really Happened! (Nonfiction)

  1. In The Beginning…Was The Command Line, by Neal Stephenson
  2. Knuckle Sandwich, by Jason Peacock
  3. The Confessions of St Augustine
  4. Don’t Stop Me Now, by Jeremy Clarkson
  5. I’m A Stranger Here Myself, by Bill Bryson
  6. A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson

For the Kid in All of Us (YA/Children’s)

  1. Fighting Fantasy: Bloodlines, by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone
  2. Holes, by Louis Sachar
  3. Mr. Funderburk Meets 5A, by Terry Markoff
  4. project e.d.e.n., by B. Mauritz
  5. Be An Interplanatary Spy: Red Rocket, by Seth McEvoy

Shit You Were Supposed to Have Read By Now:

  1. Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert [NOTE: This book is in French]
  2. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
  3. The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe, by Douglas Adams
  4. Life, the universe and everything, by Douglas Adams
  5. So long, and thanks for all the fish, by Douglas Adams
  6. Julius Caesar, by Shakespeare
  7. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien
  8. As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner
  9. The Old Man And The Sea, by Ernest Hemingway

All Others

  1. The Kindly Ones, by Jonathan Littel
  2. The Old Dog Barks Backwards, by Ogden Nash
  3. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, by David Sedaris
  4. Naked Pictures of Famous People, by Jon Stewart
  5. Child 44, by Tom Rob Smith
  6. The Secret Speech, by Tom Rob Smith
  7. Jack & Jill, by James Patterson

fimbulvetr-now:

You know what’s better than dates for Valentine’s Day? Books! They’ll break your heart just like a relationship, but you don’t have to deal with custody fights over mutual friends afterwards!

Alright so here’s the deal: I need to seriously downsize the amount of stuff I have. However, I have a lot of books. A lot a lot of books. Not to fear, though! Husband got me a Kindle for Crimbo. So I’ve been working to replace a lot of my physical books with electronic copies.

What does this have to do with you? Well, it means I currently have a lot of books that need to go! So I’m having a book giveaway because this is better than giving them back to the thrift shops. Wanted to try a book out but can’t afford it? Now’s your chance! Want to try something entirely different? What an opportunity! Don’t have enough books? Of course you fucking don’t! Have enough books? Don’t fucking lie!

I will ship this shit pretty much anywhere. If you have any questions about whether or not I’ll ship to whatever rock you live under, just feel free to ask!

Rules:

  1. You gotta be following me. I ain’t quite that charitable that I’ll give away shit to strangers, y’see.
  2. Likes do not count. Only reblogs count.
  3. Multiple reblogs are allowed; I will literally never turn down extra exposure to more people I can irritate.
  4. Deadline is 11:59pm EST on 13 February, 2016. Reblogs after that receive only my appreciation, not my consideration.
  5. Three (3) randomly selected winners will be announced by no later than 5:00pm EST 15 February 2016. You’ll be tagged in the announcement post, so make sure to check on that shit.
  6. I am only giving away books. Don’t ask for any of the props in the pictures cause that’s all they are.
  7. Don’t like how I categorised the books? Great! Send me an ask and tell me how far I had my head up my ass! They will be answered publicly.

Prizes:

  • First Prize — Four (4) books of your choice. You get first pick.
  • Second Prize — Three (3) books of your choice. You get to choose after the first winner.
  • Third Prize — Two (2) books of your choice. You choose from what’s left over.

The Books:

That Really Happened! (Nonfiction)

  1. In The Beginning…Was The Command Line, by Neal Stephenson
  2. Knuckle Sandwich, by Jason Peacock
  3. The Confessions of St Augustine
  4. Don’t Stop Me Now, by Jeremy Clarkson
  5. I’m A Stranger Here Myself, by Bill Bryson
  6. A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson

For the Kid in All of Us (YA/Children’s)

  1. Fighting Fantasy: Bloodlines, by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone
  2. Holes, by Louis Sachar
  3. Mr. Funderburk Meets 5A, by Terry Markoff
  4. project e.d.e.n., by B. Mauritz
  5. Be An Interplanatary Spy: Red Rocket, by Seth McEvoy

Shit You Were Supposed to Have Read By Now:

  1. Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert [NOTE: This book is in French]
  2. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
  3. The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe, by Douglas Adams
  4. Life, the universe and everything, by Douglas Adams
  5. So long, and thanks for all the fish, by Douglas Adams
  6. Julius Caesar, by Shakespeare
  7. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien
  8. As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner
  9. The Old Man And The Sea, by Ernest Hemingway

All Others

  1. The Kindly Ones, by Jonathan Littel
  2. The Old Dog Barks Backwards, by Ogden Nash
  3. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, by David Sedaris
  4. Naked Pictures of Famous People, by Jon Stewart
  5. Child 44, by Tom Rob Smith
  6. The Secret Speech, by Tom Rob Smith
  7. Jack & Jill, by James Patterson

You know what’s better than dates for Valentine’s Day? Books! They’ll break your heart just like a relationship, but you don’t have to deal with custody fights over mutual friends afterwards!

Alright so here’s the deal: I need to seriously downsize the amount of stuff I have. However, I have a lot of books. A lot a lot of books. Not to fear, though! Husband got me a Kindle for Crimbo. So I’ve been working to replace a lot of my physical books with electronic copies.

What does this have to do with you? Well, it means I currently have a lot of books that need to go! So I’m having a book giveaway because this is better than giving them back to the thrift shops. Wanted to try a book out but can’t afford it? Now’s your chance! Want to try something entirely different? What an opportunity! Don’t have enough books? Of course you fucking don’t! Have enough books? Don’t fucking lie!

I will ship this shit pretty much anywhere. If you have any questions about whether or not I’ll ship to whatever rock you live under, just feel free to ask!

Rules:

  1. You gotta be following me. I ain’t quite that charitable that I’ll give away shit to strangers, y’see.
  2. Likes do not count. Only reblogs count.
  3. Multiple reblogs are allowed; I will literally never turn down extra exposure to more people I can irritate.
  4. Deadline is 11:59pm EST on 13 February, 2016. Reblogs after that receive only my appreciation, not my consideration.
  5. Three (3) randomly selected winners will be announced by no later than 5:00pm EST 15 February 2016. You’ll be tagged in the announcement post, so make sure to check on that shit.
  6. I am only giving away books. Don’t ask for any of the props in the pictures cause that’s all they are.
  7. Don’t like how I categorised the books? Great! Send me an ask and tell me how far I had my head up my ass! They will be answered publicly.

Prizes:

  • First Prize — Four (4) books of your choice. You get first pick.
  • Second Prize — Three (3) books of your choice. You get to choose after the first winner.
  • Third Prize — Two (2) books of your choice. You choose from what’s left over.

The Books:

That Really Happened! (Nonfiction)

  1. In The Beginning…Was The Command Line, by Neal Stephenson
  2. Knuckle Sandwich, by Jason Peacock
  3. The Confessions of St Augustine
  4. Don’t Stop Me Now, by Jeremy Clarkson
  5. I’m A Stranger Here Myself, by Bill Bryson
  6. A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson

For the Kid in All of Us (YA/Children’s)

  1. Fighting Fantasy: Bloodlines, by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone
  2. Holes, by Louis Sachar
  3. Mr. Funderburk Meets 5A, by Terry Markoff
  4. project e.d.e.n., by B. Mauritz
  5. Be An Interplanatary Spy: Red Rocket, by Seth McEvoy

Shit You Were Supposed to Have Read By Now:

  1. Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert [NOTE: This book is in French]
  2. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
  3. The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe, by Douglas Adams
  4. Life, the universe and everything, by Douglas Adams
  5. So long, and thanks for all the fish, by Douglas Adams
  6. Julius Caesar, by Shakespeare
  7. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien
  8. As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner
  9. The Old Man And The Sea, by Ernest Hemingway

All Others

  1. The Kindly Ones, by Jonathan Littel
  2. The Old Dog Barks Backwards, by Ogden Nash
  3. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, by David Sedaris
  4. Naked Pictures of Famous People, by Jon Stewart
  5. Child 44, by Tom Rob Smith
  6. The Secret Speech, by Tom Rob Smith
  7. Jack & Jill, by James Patterson

fimbulvetr-now:

fimbulvetr-now:

fimbulvetr-now:

Alright so here’s the deal: I have a lot of books. A lot a lot of books. And now it looks fairly certain that we’ll be moving back to England when our lease is up at the end of January. PANIC MODE IS OFFICIALLY INITIATED.

What does this have to do with you? Well, it means I currently have a lot of books that need to go! So I’m having a book giveaway because this is better than giving them back to the thrift shops. Wanted to try a book out but couldn’t afford it? Now’s your chance! Want to try something entirely different? What an opportunity! Don’t have enough books? Of course you fucking don’t! Have enough books? Don’t fucking lie!

I will ship this shit pretty much anywhere. If you have any questions about whether or not I’ll ship to whatever rock you live under, just feel free to ask!

Rules:

  1. You gotta be following me. I ain’t quite that charitable that I’ll give away shit to strangers, y’see.
  2. Likes do not count. Only reblogs count.
  3. Multiple reblogs are allowed; I will literally never turn down extra exposure to more people I can irritate.
  4. Deadline is 11:59pm EST on 7 December, 2015. Reblogs after that receive only my appreciation, not my consideration.
  5. Three (3) randomly selected winners will be announced by no later than 5:00pm EST 10 December, 2015. You’ll be tagged in the announcement post, so make sure to check on that shit.
  6. I am only giving away books. Don’t ask for any of the props in the pictures cause that’s all they are.
  7. Don’t like how I categorised the books? Great! Send me an ask and tell me how far I had my head up my ass! They will be answered publicly.

Prizes:

  • First Prize – Four (4) books of your choice. You get first pick.
  • Second Prize – Three (3) books of your choice. You get to choose after the first winner.
  • Third Prize – Two (2) books of your choice. You choose from what’s left over.

The Books:

That Really Happened! (Nonfiction):

  1. In The Beginning…Was The Command Line, by Neal Stephenson
  2. The Confessions of St Augustine
  3. Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed, by Jared Diamond
  4. Knuckle Sandwich, by Jason Peacock
  5. Enough is Enough, Get Control of Your Stuff!, by Wendy Ellin
  6. A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson
  7. I’m A Stranger Here Myself, by Bill Bryson

For the Kid in All of Us (YA/Children’s):

  1. Holes, by Louis Sachar
  2. A Wrinkle In Time, by Madeleine L’Engle
  3. Be An Interplanatary Spy: Red Rocket, by Seth McEvoy
  4. Hatchet, by Gary Paulsen
  5. Holes, by Louis Sachar
  6. The Outsiders, by S.E. Hinton
  7. Mr Funderburk Meets 5A, by Terry Markoff
  8. Thieves of the Flame, by Audrey Schied
  9. project e.d.e.n., by B Mauritz

Famous Dead White Guys…and one really good African author!
(The Classics/School Summer Reading List):

  1. The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne
  2. Julius Caesar, by Shakespeare
  3. The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway
  4. Things Fall Apart, by Chinua Achebe

All Others:

  1. The Old Dog Barks Backwards, by Ogden Nash
  2. Jack & Jill, by James Patterson
  3. Naked Pictures of Famous People, by Jon Stewart
  4. The Green Mile, by Stephen King

guys please i am literally trying to give you free shit work with me here

Y’all got one more day to get your reblogs in. These are real actual books, that really exist, and people have received lovely books from me before. C’mon there’s really no catch I just don’t want these to get destroyed in a thrift shop and desperately need to get rid of them.

tic tock mfers