Tag: hogwarts

What she says: i’m fine.
What she means: who at Hogwarts decided not to put in standards for Quidditch broomsticks?? the whole Slytherin team has the new Nimbus model thanks to Draco’s rich dad, and the fact that a competitive game–sorry, SPORT–can come down to who has the better funding and equipment is just rancorous. Dumbledore wouldn’t stand for such unfairness, would he? not even talented Beaters like Fred and George could keep up with Slytherin on their old Cleansweepers. And by the way, who the hell thought it was a great idea to let House-biased teachers take points away from the Houses or give, for that matter, to their own? who oversees this process? Professor McGonagall clearly has no problem taking points from her own House to maintain discipline and order, but what about Snape? it’s been noted in the first book that he can just take away points from Gryffindor for arbitrary rules that he just invents on the spot. who’s to say his finagling isn’t what allowed Slytherin to dominate in total points for the past 6 or 7 years? who is keeping tabs on these teachers? Dumbledore either knows more than he’s letting on, or he’s doing a very poor job at organizing a school. does he understand the potential for corruption that he has handed those professors through their authority? Professor McGonagall clearly resists the temptation to abuse her power over the point system, but Snape’s petty feud with Harry’s father has really done a number on him. why is he even allowed to teach, anyway? … wait, no, I totally forgot the teachers have basically no standards to meet. how does an egomaniac like Lockhart get hired? do these teachers have tenure? what the hell does the Ministry of Magic think of Dumbledore’s sideshow of a “school”? why is Hogwarts considered so safe if someone like Quirrel–Quirell?–can get in without anyone noticing, I don’t know, his SECOND HEAD? was it only present after Voldemort drank the unicorn blood, or had it been there ever since Quirell/Quirrell had started wearing that turban? did Voldemort never sneeze accidentally? is he even able to sneeze, or would his nasal deformity prevent that? would his host sneeze as well, and would the air come from the host’s lungs? can he eat? didn’t Quirrell drink the blood for him? how come no one forced him to go take a bath? is Voldemort hydrophobic? is he just disgusting? would he melt if touched by water, just like the Wicked Witch? maybe Dumbledore really is losing his marbles and does such great things during his lucid moments that they’ve just decided he’s worth keeping around. and besides, where else would he go? is there an old folk’s home for the magical sort? how does the food compare to that of the Muggle equivalent? do they hire wizards and witches as nurses? what about magical hospice care? where do they go when they die? where do Muggles go? where do WE go? is it all the same place? is there magic there? are there any Muggle ghosts? why haven’t they told Muggles about magic? and how in the world do you keep DRAGONS a secret??