the-7-percent-solution:

ivyblossom:

Things you probably wouldn’t include if you were trying to write a story about two total bros solving crimes together:

• their landlady shipping them;
• one of the bros’ girlfriends pointing out that he’s a better boyfriend to his bro than he’ll ever be to her, and meaning it;
• bro pays so little attention to his girlfriends that they all blend together for him and he forgets which one had a dog, but knows exactly how many times his bro has been texted by a girl;
• bros putting each other ahead of literally everything and everyone else, including christmas with family;
• a profoundly observant villain pointing out that the bros are indeed a couple, no matter what they say;
• bro complains that his bro’s coat and cheekbones make him too cool;
• the newspapers calling one of the bros a “confirmed bachelor”, and he tells his bro that they need to “be more careful”;
• a hand-holding scene;
• a grab-handful-of-coat-and-pull-bro-close scene;
• after his bro (fake) dies, bro tells his therapist that there’s something he never told his bro, and it’s something he’s still not willing to say out loud;
• bro “moves on” from his bro not by finding a new bro, but by deciding to marry a lady;
• bro gives any lady touching his bro or even coming close to touching his bro the hairy eyeball;
• with his hand visibly on his crotch, bro dreams about adventures with his bro;
• bro admits that watching a bro charging off into a dangerous situation is hella sexy;
• bro casually suggesting that his bro is addicted to him;
• bro casually blogs about actually being addicted to his bro;
• when his bro gets a (fake) girlfriend, bro loses his complete shit with completely uncontained jealous rage.

* Bro dreams of his bro heroically saving him from his worst enemy

* Bro dreams that someone would finally suggest he and his bro elope

* Bro licks his lips and smiles while waiting for a response after asking if his bro is sexually attracted to other bros

* Bro secretly slips his bro some hard alcohol at a club because bro didn’t want to spend the evening sober with his bro. Bro then ends up going back to the other bro’s place for the night and within 5 seconds is laying down next to him in the dark. Bro later asks bro if he’s a pretty lady, touches his bro’s knee suggestively, saying he doesn’t mind the physical contact, getting frustrated that his bro isn’t “getting the hang of this game”. Bros end up going to jail but the first bro sleeps on the floor of the other bro’s single cell because the first bro still had hopes of spending every minute of the night with his bro.