So I just finished The Fault In Our Stars and I would just like to say that as someone who has done time in the trenches with online dating, Augustus’ dialogue really squicked me out for one reason: He sounded like tons of the overly thesaurus-reliant messages that filled my inbox on OKC. 

To all the young women out there, LFMF: 7-8 times out of ten, if a dude is sending you messages that sound like Trying Too Hard™ Augustus Waters, he is not going to turn out to be the cinnamon roll Augustus Waters was. Most of the time, it’s a signal to run, because they either have nothing meaningful to say, or they’re hoping you won’t realise what they’re actually saying.